Ticking Clock.

Time flys by so fast...you're in one season and then all of a sudden you're in a next.
I think, at least for me, I take so much for granted in specific seasons, and then look back and miss it all so much. I don't know if that is just the way life is, or if I am incredibly bad at embracing the "moment" in the moment.

I think more than anything I am finding that things really aren't as they seem.
Your best friend you took for granted, ends up being the person you miss the most.
The person at your childhood camp who you thought was snobby, ends up being the biggest encourager of your destiny, right when you need it--out of the blue.
The employer who seemed complicated, actually ends up being your favorite. And, the one you thought was so nice and would be a breeze to work for, ends up being right out crazy.

Why is it that life is like this? How do we perceive things so wrong sometimes?
It's made me realize more than ever that we can make split second decisions that change the course of everything, and in the end our decision, based on a  perception ends up being wrong, and we are left with regrets.

I don't want to be rash. I want to love always, keep all doors wide open. Embrace every moment, and soak all the joy and love from every single moment. So, that when the next season rolls around, I don't regret, but I can embrace the winds of change, knowing my heart is full of love, and I truly have experienced joy and relationship to last me through the hard times.

To those of grace, who despite my rashness, still love.

Peace. Love. Joy.

Simple.

Isn't it funny how when you were a kid the simplest things would send excitement shooting through your soul?
The "certain" yogurt in the grocery store...
the sleepover weeks away...
the "party" your family was hosting...
the vacation to God knows where.

The littlest things made your day,
maybe even your year.
You were constantly excited about what was next,
the next hour, the next day, the next week.
Life had so much in store for you, and you were prepared to run right into every adventure.

When is it that all these things fade?
When do we need more to become excited?
When does the "simple" just not do anymore?

All of a sudden, we look back and life has gotten complicated.
Not because anything necessarily changed (I mean, you know, obvious things do),
but maybe because we, ourselves have complicated it.
With our habits, our "activities", our appetite for more.

I want those first day of school feelings again.
The excitement of recess, even if it was simply jump romping for an hour with friends.
I want the sleepover rush.
The "crush" conversations you have with your closest buddies.

I want the simple.
I don't want to NEED something big to impact me.
I want the simple to once again grasp my heart, to scream so loud, to impact me so profoundly...
The simple.
Yes, the simple.

Peace. Love. Joy.

An ode to 'love'.

What is love?
Is love something that "happens" to you, an expression which you feel all of a sudden,
or is it merely a choice?

In theory if it were this euphoric, out of nowhere happening,
then I guess I could see how it would simply vanish,
leaving one with an excuse,"I just don't love you anymore."

If it were, in theory of course, a choice,
then would one really have an excuse for stopping to love?
A valid excuse at least....
Their only excuse would be, "I simply chose to not love you anymore."

It's an interesting thing, love.
A fickle thing.
A tossed around thing.
A popular thing. (at least to those who have made up their own definition of it)

What is love exactly?
And, if we knew it in its entirety,
the good...and the ugly,
would we still throw it around as if it were some kind of soccer ball?
Or would we really treat it as a weighty thing, and guard it, as well as be intentional with it?

Oh, to experience this thing we call 'love' in it's vastness.....

Peace. Love. Joy.

Blinded.

Life is such a fickle thing, eh? Realizing this more than ever in this season.
Not knowing, but trying to figure it out.
Analyzing, but getting no answers.
This seems to be my life story right now.

Head. Heart. Head. Heart.
What's reliable?
It feels a little like chaos to me.

Where am I going? What is the journey going to look like?
Everything is in the dark.
I am blinded.

Trust. Ah, yes, trust.
That I am certainly learning.
It's all I have honestly.

It's nice to know I can put my hand in His,
and just trust.
Although, I think that's where most of the battle lies.
The simplicity of trusting.

Who knows? I certainly don't.
I'll choose to simply rest mine in His and wait.
One day, this time in life, it will all make sense.
At least, to some extent.

Until then, trust.
Yes, trust, it's all I've got.
Of one thing I am certain, Him.

Peace. Love. Joy.

To becoming a daughter :)

Recently, God's been really ingraining in me identity without a need to prove myself.

He took me to the passage of scripture in Matthew 4 where Jesus is in the desert and Satan is tempting him. In verse 6 the enemy says, "If you are the son of God throw yourself down." (speaking of Jesus standing on the highest point of the temple). We all know that Jesus then replies, "Do not put the Lord your God to the test."

What exactly is Jesus being tempted with in this verse? Satan was tempting Jesus to prove who He WAS by what He could DO.
How often does that play out in our own lives today?
The constant battle of proving oneself by what we do instead of simply abiding in Abba as sons/daughters...that being what our identity is rooted in, nothing else.

I am in that process right now, of not only knowing in my head who I am (HIS),
but knowing in my heart, and literally living from that place.
Living from a place of truly being a daughter, and not even having to prove it...just being.
Ahh, just saying that makes me feel so alive!
We were created to simply "be" in Him, not have to prove our identity.
I want to live as I was created to.

I love that Jesus knew who He was, that He didn't have to prove one thing to Satan..
such a beautiful picture of how we should live.
To abiding in Abba...
ohh the bliss :)

Peace. Love. Joy.

The Mystery of it All....

Lately, I have been drawn to the mystery of life, people....the mystery of it all.
It's so easy to want to know everything and anything,
to consistently be answering questions in life,
to have to understand......

But, I propose we yield ourselves to the endless, beautiful mystery of it all...
maybe instead of always needing an explanation to embrace something,
why not choose to embrace it even without an explanation?
Seems a little like "faith" to me.

Why not choose to not have to quite understand it all?
But, instead be surprised,
be amazed in every passing moment you live.

Instead of trying to figure every little thing out,
do yourself a favor and embrace mystery.
Embrace the adventure.
I believe that is how we were created to live.

Peace. Love. Joy.

Father's Day.

Oh, hey it's Father's Day....

therefore, this blog is dedicated to my wonderful Padre who has been so influential throughout my lifetime!

He has taught me what it means to forsake all and reach out to the one in front who is in need...

he has more grace for people than anyone I have ever met.

He will fight for someone to the death, literally.

He never gives up on people or the good that he sees within them.


I am so honored to have a Father that paved the way for me to go to Nicaragua at only 8 years old.

I will never be the same, and Nicaragua has become more and more apart of my heart through the years.

Every trip, every moment, falling more and more in love with the beautiful people there.


I love you Dad...thanks for being you! :)

<-----Padre.

Peace. Love. Joy.