Trust.

Transition: its complicated.

It always throws such a mixture of emotions your way, and leaves one left to process.
I usually am quite good at transition and knowing the season I am headed into, because I usually have a very clear understanding what God is speaking and where He is directing me. Even when the season is a difficult one, I know what God spoke and I just stand on His promises…not once have I been disappointed either. It’s funny how you can see a certain season from one perspective, but when you walk out of it, it was completely different than you imagined and think “what would I have done if I didn’t walk through that?” He always knows best. :)

I find though I am in a transition of seasons and this time I just don’t really understand what I walking into. I mean, there are certain things I do know, but for the majority I don’t feel like God has said one particular thing for this next phase. It leaves me feel a little hazy, as I have never really experienced such uncertainty. At the same time I keep being confronted by God with the concept of Him letting me choose what’s next, and Him loving whatever decision that may be. It’s almost as if He is saying, “here are the reigns Brianna…I trust you.”

It’s funny how He trusts me, yet my trust in Him is being most tested in this time. Will I trust Him enough to trust me? Haha. It’s a bit ironic actually. Can I make a decision without clear direction straight from Him? Can I believe in His trust in me? Do I really believe that He will never let me fail? That my desires are from His heart ultimately?

I have an amazing friend, her name is Heather and she is going to change this world, as we were talking about this weird transition the other day she said something so profound, of which I will most likely hold onto for the rest of my life. She said, “It’s easy to be obedient when God gives you clear direction, it takes faith to choose freely.” I am pretty sure that quote sums it all up; it couldn’t have been said any better.

So, here’s to learning to trust Him like never before. I know I will come out on the other side so pleased with His faithfulness. :)

Peace. Love. Joy.

Salvation Mountain.

I am presently on my trip cross country back home to Maryland from California, and enjoying every moment. There is something about the open road; it brings life into context for me. It presents the simplicity of life and causes me to long for the deep truth of life, as well as spend time dialoging with Jesus….as well as simply be over-analytical (something I tend to do too much ha!)

Alas, enough of my inner ramblings….. Yesterday, I had the opportunity of visiting a place called Salvation Mountain; a place I have longed to go to for a while now. I’ve long wondered what it would be like to not just hear the stories of this man Leonard, and his vision which has now become a worldwide point of interest, but to actually be there and experience it firsthand. Leonard wasn’t there, which was a little bit sad…I so wanted to personally meet the amazing man behind this simple, yet so profound message of love. Walking along the “mountain” and reading the messages of God’s love all around was amazing—even more amazing though was being hit once again with the realization that the simplicity of the Gospel really is His love; it all comes down to that one thing.

I think the one thing that is most profound to me, is that this man, Leonard receives nothing in the natural for all his work. He isn’t working for a “reward” or some kind of recognition. He lives as simply as one could; living in the back of his truck and painting daily from donated paint (only 2 weeks ago did he move out of the area, to escape the heat due to heart issues—he is after all nearing his 80’s).
Knight’s whole life goal is simply that the world would know that God is love. Dedicating your life to one message. Amazing.

I think the one thing I learned, is that there is this tension between knowing more and more about God and His ways…but never forgetting the simplistic message of who He is; love. I don’t want other things to become bigger than the foundation of all that I believe. I want my lense to be love, and I want everything I do to come from that place.

My hearts cry : [I don’t want anything to even get bigger than LOVE.]
As Leonard says, “Keep It Simple”

Peace. Love. Joy.

To learn more go to: http://www.salvationmountain.us/

Forward Motion.

Today I graduated 1st year at BSSM (Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry)....
it means a lot of things, but mainly it means a new season is right around the corner.

These past 9 months have been nothing less than transformational,
and I am so honored to of had the opportunity to be here in this wonderful culture.
I am forsure leaving a different person...
and nothing I did made that happen,
just simply resting in His love did.

I am excited for the next couple months of summer..
for the friends, family, adventures, and creativity.
I know it's going to be a summer to remember for ever.
I may not have much clarity on the future,
but one thing I know is He is sooo goood (probably even better than I think)
and He is not going to let me fail.
Simply abiding in Him is going to take me on the journey of a lifetime;
one of fulfilling destiny and discovering beauty.

My pray is and continues to be:
That I may know Him, and be known by Him.
My heart, if nothing else, is simply to know Him.
I want to immerse myself in my Abba's love and
I want Him to be able to say, "I know you, Brianna."
You can take all the details away, just give me intimacy with Abba.

So, as I depart from this epic season of my life....
one that I would have to say has been the most dynamic, influential times of my life,
I want to honor those who have sacrificed for me to be here today.

First and foremost my parents...without their leadership, love, and intimacy with Abba throughout my life who knows where I would be. I am so thankful for the foundation I have been given and the righteous inheritance I was born into. I am one blessed girl. :-)

And secondly, I want to honor Bill Johnson and Kris Vallotton,
I am so grateful that they chose Him above all else,
because if they didn't I would not be the person I am, right now, today, writing this.
Their hearts desire is to see the Kingdom of Heaven brought to earth,
and now that very desire is ingrained into my heart.
For that I am forever thankful.

So, on that note I will leave you with some end of the school year, defining quotes for me:
["Fire always falls on sacrifice." Bill Johnson]
["Your message isn't Bethel, it's King Jesus." Bill Johnson]
["The Lord never forgets what you do in secret." Kris Vallotton]




And, so the next exciting, joy filled, life journey begins! :)
Peace. Love. Joy.

[Happiness hit her like a train on a track.]

My year here at BSSM is wrapping up,
and I have such mixed emotions.
Excitement over what is next, and where God is taking me.
Sadness over leaving some of the most incredible people I have met in my life!

Reminiscing over these past 9 months is quite an insane experience in my mind...
so much has changed;
I have changed so much.

The other week I literally woke up and said to myself,
"Wow! I am honestly a whole different person then when I was in September!"
And, not in some weird christianeze sense either, but literally who I am is different. The real me has surfaced, and I quite like it if I do say so myself.
It's crazy to me that simply His love really invading my life has transformed me.

I think the greatest realization this year for me has simply been His grace.
An aspect of Him I never thought about has now daily become a relying factor for me in my life. I have come face to face with resting in Him, and laying down all striving...that alone can free one up beyond belief.

These past 9 month have been ones of laying down my dreams, my pursuits, and just allowing God to meet me where I am at and work on the foundation of my life; who I am and who He is in me.
It's been life changing.
I can honestly say I know who I am...
and everyday I get a glimpse more and more of who He is in me.

To sum it up: I am more alive than I have ever been in my life...
and it's all because I have one brilliant Abba, who decided I was worth everything He is to bring my soul to life again.

His goodness is overwhelming.
Period.

A week from now I begin my cross country venture home--
I am excited to read, write, experience cultures, hear stories, and just have fun with Abba :)
Home, I come...... different than ever.

Peace. Love. Joy.