Restless Discomfort.

In every generation there are those that rise,
they rise above the status quo,
above what people say is the norm.
They decide to not simply fit in with those around them,
but to literally infect those around them.
Infect with what you ask?
The beautiful pursuit of their heart,
to one thing, and one thing alone,
their beautiful Jesus!

It's the very essence of who they are,
they allow this man named Jesus,
to shape their very identity.
He becomes the focus of their lives,
their every thought, their every breath.

When we look back upon the people who have walked the earth before us,
these burning ones stick out like sore thumbs.
Amy Carmichael, A.W. Tozer, Keith Green, Corrie Ten Boom, Jonathan Edwards, Oswald Chambers.
To name a few.
When you look at each man or woman,
the underlying thing that consumed every fiber of their being was Jesus...
and Jesus alone.
These burning ones, they were so consumed by the call.
They had mass amounts of people falling on their faces,
just simply because of their burning passion.
They were, simply put,
consumed, with one thing...
His heart.
Their desire, their whole life was based around...
Loving the ones He loves,
Moving where He moves,
being who He is.

I want that.
I don't want complacency.
I want to rise above the status quo in my generation.
I want to love the one's no one loves.
I want the prostitutes, the druggies,
the untouchables.
And, I want to be blessed with a restless discomfort all the days of my life.
So that I never become complacent in this.
That I ever burn with a fiery passion shut up in my bones.

The one thing, I want constantly playing on my mind, is this radical quote from Leanord Ravenhill:
"Are the things you're living for, worth Christ dying for?"

Peace.Love.Joy.

Uncomfortable.

We as humans, we long to be comfortable.
Comfortable is ultimately natural for us.
We enjoy it, we seek it out.

The thing is when we create a comfortable relationship with our Jesus...
we get to this point with Him where we've experienced a lot, and we are satisfied with that.
Then we stop, and we stay in that little spot, and we ultimately create our own little Jesus,
because we don't allow Him to be Him. We don't allow Him to take us to new places.
We just decide to settle in, and get cozy with what is comfortable to us.

Ah, how I pray I ever stay humble before His beautiful face,
so that I may never become comfortable.
I want to forever be uncomfortable.
I want to wake up every day with a challenge...
a challenge to go deeper...
wider..
higher.
I want to fly.
And then I want to fly again and again to new places with Him;
never becoming satisfied.
That is my pray for my life, that whatever happens down this journey I am on,
that I never, ever get comfortable.

Peace.Love.Joy.

Following the call.

Sometimes, I think it would be so much easier NOT to follow the "call",
it would be so much easier to not be consumed with all of that.
But, then I think about how every waking moment I didn't follow the "call",
that exact thing would constantly be whispering in my ear, pounding on my chest.
I could never escape it...
it would always be apart of me,
I could never change that.
My very DNA breathes the "call",
and it really is the only purpose of my existence.
So, I have come to the conclusion that I am just going to embrace what is hard, because in the end the satisfaction I get from following the "call" on my life is so much greater than anything that I had to conquer to get there. In the end, when I look back, the battle it took to get where I am, it will seem like nothing at all.
I will only be able to bask in His goodness, His love,
the very essence of who He is.
So, I say come whatever it may,
just so I can experience that beautiful bliss of serving Him,
that nothing in this world could come close to fulfilling in me.
I can't fight who I was made to be; the very essence of who I am.

Peace. Love. Joy.

Eighteen.

Well, here it is, my birthday.
18, by the rule books, is special, so I've heard.
This "monumental" day has made me really ponder my life and ultimately my beautiful Jesus.
Dang, is He amazing! His grace, His mercy, His love, is truly new every morning.
To think that I get the privilege to praise Him through whatever comes in my life, is truly astonishing to me.
He is so truly beautiful.

I was thinking today, everyone has something that defines them.
I have met people that allow looks to define them,
some that allow academics to define them,
some that allow athletics to define them,
and any other thing you can think of.
We all do it, so the real underlying question is what will you let define you Brianna?
And not just cliche-ly saying what will define me,
but really living what defines me.
It got me thinking... I really only what Jesus to define me.
I would give it all up, everything & anything.
In the end it just doesn't matter to me.

On the most hard, most hopeless days of my life, I look back and see the steadfastness of my Jesus! When I had no hope, He was the hope. When I had no vision, He was the vision. I look back on the obstacles I have faced in my life, the decisions that have led me to where I am today, and I can only look up and smile because truly without Him I don't know where I would be today.
But, I do know I wouldn't be the same person.
I wouldn't have the hope, the vision, the life that He has given me.

To this next year of my life, my prayer is that I live my life truly alive. With all that I am, all that I do.

If I do anything in this life, I just want to touch the one.
The one with no hope, no vision.
I would be satisfied with just that one.

So, to 18 years of life...
it's been a journey,
a beautiful one!
=)