One step closer to healthier...

Body image is such a huge thing in the world...
well, actually I think how we look in general is quite an obsession in the world.
We put so much emphasis on it, not just in the American culture, but all over the world...
it's hard not to get swept up into the obsession with perfecting oneself when it's constantly being thrown at us from every direction.

I have certaintly wracked many a moment thinking about how I can meet such outlandish standards thrown out into the air...
and not just Hollywood (because I know most of you reading this, probably went right there).
My theory?
I believe Hollywood, media, magazines, music etc.,
they feed off of OUR, yes your normal everyday person's, obsession with our looks.

I think it's hard to not think about it, when it seems everyone has an opinion on it...
I remember growing up, being a middle schooler and realizing that everyone had a comment on what I wore, what I looked like, and to be honest usually it wasn't my peer, it was the adults in my life...or not in my life, those who simply knew my parents, or showed up at one of our church events at some point.
It always made me wonder...why do they even care?
Can they just let ME be ME?
But despite my fight to do just that, be "me", I fell into obsessing over myself, and realizing, after much effort, I may never reach their expectations, wait..."what exactly is their expectation for me?", I wondered.

Anytime I would come to a semi-content place, someone else would have an opinion,
and of course to keep it to themselves would be just outright crazy it seemed.

I have really come to a place though, where I could care less about one's opinion of me, I am certainly content with who I am..
why? I think because I know Abba created me perfect, and everything about me He absolutely loves. I think when you come in contact with His vast love for you, it drowns out the opinions of man, and all that is left is His opinion, and in that you become quite satisfied with yourself.
I find myself, when overwhelmed by man's thoughts on me, turning towards Him, and thanking Him for making me...and listing things, I quite like about myself..
whether is my freckles, or blue eyes.
Call it vain if you may,
I call it focusing on the goodness of God, and the person He created me to be and thought up before the beginning of time.

All this to say, I am on this journey of becoming healthier...
not because I want to strive to meet man's expectations again,
but because I want to take care of this ONE body I have been given.
I really do believe that coming to the "right" reason for being healthier changes everything.

Don't get me wrong, I am not some crazy obsessed soda person (in fact, I hate soda..always have!)
And, neither am I frantickly running through McDonald's for a doss of my daily fried food.
I eat, mostly veggies and lean meat...
and of course have an obsession with coffee,
possibly my downfall, alas, no time soon shall that change..it just is pure bliss ;)

BUUUT, I want to take it a step farther..
recently I took out sugar (except for natural), bread, and milk from my diet.
(I am not advising you do that, do what you think is best for your body and what you're trying to achieve in the realm of health).
I also am working towards exercising a lot..
I have certainly been one in life to pencil in working out into my agenda,
but often I let life take over and end up killing my routine.

I thought if I wrote about it and kept myself accountable in some weird way through my blog, I may just do better this take at it.
So, here is to me taking one day at a time and taking care of this wonderful body I have been given to live in....
I hope you enjoy the journey with me, and if anything take into account the amazing person God created you to be, and all that is so beautiful about YOU, and that which makes up your person!

Peace. Love. Joy.

Greatness.

It's crazy to me how much we, as humanity walk around judging people's greatness by what we see on the outside....
who one knows...
what one is good at.. etc.

There's something inside of me that believes greatness lies on the inside,
and nothing one does can give or take that away.

What if the greatness within someone that has the ability to change the world as we know it is going unnoticed simply because we dwell on the little glimpses we get of one's "outside" life?

Why not live life in such a way you see the greatness within every person you come in contact with?

They may just have what you need..
they may just have a little part of what can change the world itself.

Something to ponder....

Peace. Love. Joy.

OUR plans.

Recently God has really been dealing with me personally, as well as showing me how much in humanity we create "our plan".

It's like we see where we are going, whatever area of society we want to influence, the church included, and we create this grand plan and strategy to make a "difference".

The other week I heard God start laughing,
He said, "brianna your plans, your strategies they really mean nothing."
Huh? I wondered, but then I heard Him say,
"it's really my presence, ME, that makes or breaks this thing."

I had this realization, that my strategy, my "plan", it really meant nothing,
unless it was simply a detail of the overwhelming goal of just being with Him.
Then from that place of being with Him, living life from Him.

I want to dig a well soooo deep with Him, that no matter where I go in life my History with Him is so vast that in an instance I can turn and He is there; His presence is there.
That's what I want.

At the end of the day no matter where I go, it's all going to come down to one thing..
my history with Abba.
That is what makes or breaks my life.
That is what dictates the influence I am going to have.
That is what determines my victory.
Him.

Peace. Love. Joy.

The simplicity of life.....

Simplicity.
I hear it echoing through the crevices of my heart....
what does simplicity look like?
how about a simple life?

More than ever my life has been narrowed down to one thing...
Him, and His presence.
I realize it all comes down to that in my life.
I fear less...
I worry less...
when it is as simple as me and Him.

I have this peace that He is going to open so many doors in my life,
doors I wouldn't have even thought to open..much less try.

His goodness has come to overwhelm who I am.
Everyday I find myself enraptured by who He is.
I don't want to spend time with Him because I need something from Him (although He does provide for my needs),
I spend time with Him because He is oh so lovely.
He is brilliant.
He is gracious.
He is GOOOOOOOOD.
I just love Him.

And, that is the simplicity of my life..
no matter where I go in my lifetime,
or what I do...
it all comes down to me and Him,
and at the end of my life...
I want to have the greatest history with Him that I can possibly have...
that is my pursuit in life.

"If you miss the small thing, you'll miss the big thing. Life in the Spirit is about the simple things."

"Greatness is really doing the simple things well-to the point of excellence."

Both of those are quotes from Graham Cooke....and both are immensely brilliant.

Peace. Love. Joy.

The beauty of not proving oneself.

I've been thinking....
yes, I tend to think quite a bit....
I have been thinking how much humanity uses talents, things, materials etc to validate who they are.
We do it more than we think....I think. :p

We try to validate ourselves with who we know,
what we are good at,
what we have...
the list goes on.

And, I am not saying I am exempt,
in fact, I think the very reason I have been thinking about it,
is because God has really been teaching me about the brilliance of not have to prove anything.

I have found, its so much more amazing to just be me.
Me without my gifts put on display.
Me without my connections known to all....
and so on and so forth.

I am pretty amazing just because I am me.
Not because of who I know, what I am good at, or what I own.

It's beautiful to not have to prove anything.
And, so that's what I am going for in life....
just simply being....
me,
Brianna Shea Geeslin.
Nothing more, and nothing less.

Peace. Love. Joy.

Being drawn away.

I find my Abba drawing me away....
more and more He beckons me to come...
"Brianna, let's go on an adventure", He whispers.

He brings me to this place,
just me and Him;
a place of extravagant beauty and peace.

A place where His love for me unfolds
and begins to wash over me.
Wave after wave of His love hits me,
and I feel my heart begin to come alive.

My heart begins to dance inside my chest,
pulsating...boom, boom, boom.
Next thing I know,
it's as if my heart is being ripped from my chest,
and being put in Abba's hands.

And then as quickly as He took it from me....
He places it back.

What is this sensation?
What am I feeling pulsating through my veins?
Ahh, thats it...
I feel restoration
I feel peace,
I feel love.

I don't try and make my brain understand,
I just know I am different now,
and I always will be.

Suddenly, the world is a different place.
People are different.
Everything is alive in my eyes.

Could it be that one enounter changes everything?

Peace. Love. Joy.

I am sitting in my kitchen, sipping a nice cup of joe :) mmmm...that alone can put a smile on my face.
Gong through my mind?
Doed God KNOW me?
In the sense of wanting to be known by Him...
not simply that He knows me by name and knows all the hairs on my head (as the Bible says)....
But, have I, Brianna spent time with Him ALONE enough to be actually known by Him.
Have I created my own history with my Abba?
or is it about everything else we do in the Christian world?

I've been thinking lately about all the giftings we are given as Children of God,
and they are truly awesome....
but what happens when that is stripped away,
what is lying in the depths of our heart?
Is it void, or is there an outrageous love affair taking place?

To be super honest with you, I think in the hustle and bustle of just being here at Bethel, and learning so much and being stretched etc. etc.....
it can be hard to get that secret time with Jesus in.
And, I am so convicted....
All I want to be concerned with is Him...
everything else will flow out of that.

What is going to change the world above all else?
I believe it's when we consistently have encounters with the Heart and love of God, and then share those encounters with the world...and live from that place...
and that is place where the world sees Jesus for who He is, and come running into His arms.
That is my theory of sorts. (which I believe to be quite right :p)

I encourage you guys, spend that alone time with Jesus.
Just YOU and HIM in the secret place.
Allow Him to draw you away.
Where His thoughts become Yours.
Where His secrets become Yours.
And live life from that place.

"But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."
(Matthew 6:6)

Peace. Love. Joy.