To being a child.....

The past couple weeks I find myself being drawn back to my childhood,
to the simplicity of it all.
No worries, no concerns.
Just this pure, joyful freedom.
Just thinking about it makes me smile
& miss it.
A LOT.

I find myself wanting to go back,
trying to find that child in me.
The little girl;
the one who was free, full of life, joy, and love.

It's hard though.
You know, we all grow up.
We all begin to live this life, that turns into this story.
A story of pain, hardship, disappointment..
as well as crazy, awesome things that mark our lives & we will never forget:
stuff like friends, camps, vacations, graduations, achievements, our first job, out first crush etc.
We all have those things...
all of them,
the good & the bad.
And, it eventually becomes OUR story.
A story no one else can know or tell.

Sometimes, though the story gets complicated.
Life gets harder.
Slowly the circumstances surrounding us strip us of that freedom, joy, life we once knew when we were undefiled from the world.

Recently, I have come to grips with the things I have allowed my circumstances throughout my life to strip away.
It makes me ponder, something I do very often if you haven't noticed ;)
I have come to the conclusion that yes, life is hard, yes disappointment comes, hardship comes.

Some years have been better than others.
And, that will be so the rest of my life.
I can't change my circumstances
but, I still can live life alive through it all.

I can choose to find that little girl who once only knew joy.
I will find that girl.
How? Because, I serve this absolutely, phenomenal, incredible, Abba.
He has never disappointed me.
He has always been there saying, "Brianna, you are that little girl in me. You are full of life. Full of joy. It's right here."
That's the truth.
He is ALWAYS there & has never failed me.
Ever.
Sheesh. That is incredible.

No matter what has happened in my life, no matter what will happen in my life.
I can make a decision to live it like a child.
Full of life.
Full of joy.
Because HE is my Abba.
That,
that one thing... will never disappoint.

When I begin to not just believe that,
but live my life from that....
I can look up, past my self, past my hurts, past my circumstances,
and realize there are stories all around me,
just waiting to be heard.
And, I want to hear them.
I want to know the stories of the lives all around me.

It's much bigger than me.
I want to know that child that lies in each and every person.
The child who had huge, crazy dreams that no man could crush.
I want that dream to become their story.



Peace. Love. Joy.

And, this one is for twenty ten.

Here I am.
2010.
I can't say I will miss 2009,
but, I surely will remember it.

This past year I could most positively say was one of the hardest of my life, it was hard, there were many battles, followed by many tears. In the midst of it all I lost parts of who I am, I lost my passion, and more then anything the very feeling of being alive was sucked out from me. Even though it was hard, when I look back on this past year the thing I will remember the most was the way my beautiful Jesus was right there with me through it all. I saw my Abba & His love plain and simple when everything that we surround Him with is striped away; He was just there loving as He always is. That will forever and always be my fondest, most precious memory of 2009.

A new year has begun. A new decade has begun.
When I ponder the things I want this year to be about, what I truly want my life to be about, one name comes to mind....Jesus.

I just got back from two weeks in Ireland, and it was absolutely beautiful & life changing in a lot of ways. I did a lot of thinking, I saw the things that I had last over the past year, and in the midst of a very broken and lost country I began to see what truly matters to me and what I want to be about. I essentially found the very things I had lost throughout the year.

What I want this next year to be about?
Jesus.
I don't want to make aspects of Him,
more important than Him.
I have so many dreams, passions.
I want to see justice brought to injustice.
I want to see love brought to the unlovable.
I want to see hope brought to the hopeless.
I want to see the broken dream once again.

But, I can't let any of that become the essence of who I am.
I can't let wanting those things to happen become more important then Jesus.
Although, I don't want to do any of it without Him & I want to do all of it for Him...
I still can't let it become more important.

See, I think we can take messages, aspects of His heart, and it becomes something we chase, almost idolize. The truth is though, all we need is to burn for Him, to be so engulfed in who He is that nothing else in this world matters. To so, crave His presence that people see HIM when we walk past them in the streets. Once that becomes who we are, the rest follows.
I will see justice, love, hope, dreaming brought to those in need of it.
Because, all of that is Jesus.
And, I don't want any of them to become higher then Him in my life.
They mean nothing without that 5 letter name: Jesus.

So, for 2010 I have a lot of dreams, and visions; things I want to see myself accomplish & grow in.
But, more then any of that, I just want to be so helplessly in love with my beautiful Abba.

I am excited for whats ahead.
I am excited for lives being transformed.
I am excited to see Jesus bring revival to the dead places.
I am excited to see countries & peoples that have no Jesus become the very places where revival breaks out.

I encourage you to dream this year, and to truly live your life alive.
Most of all, keep your eyes on Jesus & become literally obsessed with His heart.

I'll leave you with a quote from a hero of mine....someone who I believe is changing the world..through love & hope...but ultimately through some amazing Jesus love & hope:
"Darkness cannot cast out darkness. You need a light for that. Fear cannot cast out fear. You're gonna need hope for that... death warrants more death. But I believe life wants more life and I'm convinced that the greatest weapon we've got is LOVE! And maybe, in a world full of fighters, in a world imploding with hate, maybe to be a lover, you gotta be a fighter. Maybe that's the biggest fight, the only fight worth fighting, the fight you're gonna be in for the rest of your life."

(Jon Foreman)


Peace. Love. Joy.

Changing the world.

We all, even if way deep down inside,
have a dream, ultimately one that we believe will change the world.
And, even if we haven't dreamed up some big dream,
we have this underlying desire to change the world;
to affect someone, something.

I have a dream.
A pretty massive dream, in fact.
And, yes it entails changing lives & essentially changing this world.

Sometimes though I begin to ponder life,
how I am not guaranteed another day,
which causes me to say to Jesus,
"Don't let me leave this earth until I have accomplished my dream."
The truth is, my dream, it's going to take some time to accomplish.
I can't just go out today & make it happen.
Which, as I said, ultimately makes me ask Jesus for that precious thing called time to make it happen.

As I pondered this the other day, as I do most days,
Jesus brought to my attention that even though I am not promised another day,
I do have today.
I can't go through life just thinking about this big dream I have, that is going to take time to accomplish.
I have to also think about the here and now.
The everyday person I cross paths with daily.
I DO have the opportunity to affect their lives,
& in turn affect the world.

See guys, it's just that one life you touch,
that one life, ultimately changes the world.
Don't take for granted the moments you have right now,
all around you,
to change the world.

Hold fast to that big dream of yours,
but never lose sight of the little dreams surrounding you daily.
There are so many people waiting to be changed,
waiting for that hope.
You can be that hope, that change.

Just touch one,
and you touch the world.

Peace. Love. Joy.

Discernment

I write this knowing some people will take this as me judging... but I am not trying to judge, I am just trying to say what is on my heart. I think sometimes, in the Church, we only want to hear the "nice" things and whenever someone says something that offends us, we immediately mark is off as judgment. In my opinion, if you look throughout the Bible God constantly offended people by calling them out on their religous idiocy so to speak. I don't know about you, but I want God to offend me, I love when He offends me, because it shows me where I have gone wrong and where He can come and shed light. My pursuit in this life is to be just like Him, and if He must come and offend me to make me more and more like Him, then heck everything inside of me is all for Him offending.

So, now to my point....
Lately, I have been so riveted and sombered by the lack of discernment in the Body of Christ. It seems, so many people just go with the motions, without every really stopping and looking at what exactly is happening.
We get so caught up in what we think revival is going to look like, and then whenever what we think it's going to look like happens, we quickly jump on a band wagon, most of us with very good intentions. But, have you ever just stopped and said, "Jesus, I want you to define Revival!" I think so often we end up boxing God in without knowing it because in our minds we paint this picture of what it looks like. We say people out in the Holy Ghost is Revival, and yes, I am very much sure that is part of it. But, why can't revival also be apart of the quiet and peaceful moments when God literally just comes and shakes up our ideologies? Or, why can't it be when we are in the supermarket and we see a need and begin to pray for someone? Why can't that be Revival?

I think so often when we see someone who is prophetic, or healing, or doing signs and wonders, we run to them without any discretion, forgetting that the Bible says that those who know nothing about Jesus are going to be able to do the very same things. Now, we all know that these very things are the things we are to walk in, and rightly so. We are called to bring the Kingdom of Heaven down to earth, through the signs, the wonders and the miracles. But, we must be ever careful of the band wagons we jump on without asking God if it is even Him.

Guys, there are two worlds....a light one and the dark one, and they are both very supernatural. Especially, in the days we are living we must be able to discern the difference and press into the light. And through Jesus and Jesus alone see those signs, wonders, and miracles!

Anywayz, I hope I expressed myself well, and you understand. If not, I am sorry, I certainly tried.

Peace.Love.Joy.

Authenticity of His love.

This is an exerpt from One Tree Hill last episode, it's between one of the main characters and a young boy at a young kids home....
Clay-"Nice shot! You got another one of those?" (as the boy shoots the ball)
"You got an agent?"
Boy-"I don't need your charity today."
Clay-"You got a name?"
(as they begin to play some ball together)
Boy- "I know what you're doing, you're letting the poor kid win. That's what you all do, show up, volunteer for a few hours, make yourselves feel good about whatever."

This really portrayed to me the issue of love and kindness to others.
The truth is, anyone, and everyone can lend a helping hand.
Those who believe in Jesus and those who do not....not even a bit.

So what is the defining factor that separates us (the Christians) from the others?
It's love.
and Yes, the world can love. But, their love can only go so far, it's just human love. It's nothing supernatural.
We have this love. This supernatural love that extends past the world's mindsets and leaps right into their very hearts. It goes beyond their thinking. It's truly unexplainable.
The reason?
Because, it is supernatural. It's Jesus' love. A love no man could touch.

My point,
that the world knows what is real, what is authentic.
We must tap into the realness of who Jesus is, His love,
and use that to effect those around us, those hurting, those lost.
We literally have the key to transforms lives, and in turn transform a nation; a world....
just, simply with His
LOVE.

Peace.Love.Joy.

Fear.

Fear.
It plays some kind of role in most of our lives.
From the littlest things, to the biggest.

I, personally, have allowed fear to stop me from doing so much.
I have allowed it to tell me, I can't.
But, the truth is I can.
And, I will.

I have concluded, that everything that I am fearful of,
due to past hurts, I will no longer let it stop me.
When I am faced with a circumstance to be afraid of,
I am going to just Jump,
and do it.

Fear is ridiculous,
and has nothing on me.

I will dream.
I will fly.
Fear won't be able to do anything about it either.

Just inner ramblings.

Peace. Love. Joy.

Isaiah 1:17

"Seek justice,
encourage the opressed.
Defend the cause of the fatherless;
plead the case of the widow."

I want this verse to mark my life.

I want Jesus to:
Help me to see injustice,
so I can seek justice.
Help me to see the oppressed,
so I can encourage them.
Help me to see the fatherless,
so I can defend their cause.
Help me to see the widow,
so I can plead her case.

It's all about our eyes being open. There are people all around us. Crying out. Crying for that one person to fight for justice in their unjust circumstance. They want just one person to tell them they are special and that their life does have value. They want someone to come alongside them, when they have no earthly father to fight for them.

The awesome thing is we can be that person.
All we have to do is open our eyes to the people,
the lives all around us,
everday.

Everyone has a story.
So, Jesus...
open my eyes to the countless stories that surround me on a daily basis.
I want to be apart of those stories.
To be the essence of Your kingdom,
of who You are,
on this earth.

Peace.Love.Joy.