Beauty lies within us all.

Do you ever get around certain people and you feel completely not great?
And, this thing rises up on the inside that says,
"you're amazing. you can prove it too...with this, and that, etc."
But, then I come back to reality..
"wait! I don't have to prove myself!"

It's crazy how being in a room with people who empower you,
and see your amazingness, your abilities, your talents...
they affirm who God made you to be;
you can totally feel it and it really makes you fly and grow.

But, you can also get in a room, where you feel not at all empowered,
in fact you feel looked down on, and no one seems to care whats on the inside of you.
And, I think depending on what you do and who you are around,
that mostly is what we face in life.

I think the battle in those moments is not having to prove yourself (because we all can),but knowing who you are, ignoring the criticism all around,
and still flying.. still growing..
even in the midst of being told, even if not spoken, "we just don't see greatness in you."

And, to be quite honest I think it comes down to,
"what exactly am I trying to prove?"
"who's opinion matters besides Abba?"
We have to retrain ourselves, to feel and know His pleasure,
no matter what the people around us are communicating to us.

I know I want to be a person who never despises or looks down upon any individual.
Just because, they may be more quiet, or may do things differently than me..
that doesn't give me a right to say they are not important, and that something great doesn't live on the inside of them.
I want to see the beauty in every person...the greatness each person has been called and destined to.
And, hey you never know who has what you need..
or who may need what you have.

Those are my thoughts for the day.
Oh, and as far as being healthier..
it's going wonderful!
Salads, and veggies all week! It's been quite lovely if I do say so myself. :-)

Peace. Love. Joy.

Ohhh, awkward places.

Today has been a bit weird...
actually, the past couple days have been.
It's like this weird feeling on the inside of me,
one I can't seem to nail.

I haven't been sleeping much lately,
I find my mind is racing, as well as my heart,
but not with anything in particular.
It's odd.

You know that complex space between your biggest dreams coming true,
and the journey it takes to get there?

There are so many moments I have to remind myself why I am doing what I am doing.
When processes seem useless, and uncomfortable its God who brings me back to the core of what I am after...
or more like, what He is after.
He brings me back to who He is,
and who I am in Him.
And, then the process doesn't look so bad.

But, I am not going to lie...
lately those "moments" of doubt have been happening a lot.
You know that awkward feeling when the grace lifts on a season,
and you feel God preparing you for transition,
but you have to wait for the transition to happen?

It's this place of knowing you're about to move on,
but realizing you haven't quite yet,
and you have to constantly remind yourself to finish strong.

So, yeah, that is where I am at today...March 23rd.
It's times like these though that I fall so much more in love with Abba,
and realize I need Him to constantly fill my heart so I can do just that..
finish strong!

Peace. Love. Joy.

One step closer to healthier...

Body image is such a huge thing in the world...
well, actually I think how we look in general is quite an obsession in the world.
We put so much emphasis on it, not just in the American culture, but all over the world...
it's hard not to get swept up into the obsession with perfecting oneself when it's constantly being thrown at us from every direction.

I have certaintly wracked many a moment thinking about how I can meet such outlandish standards thrown out into the air...
and not just Hollywood (because I know most of you reading this, probably went right there).
My theory?
I believe Hollywood, media, magazines, music etc.,
they feed off of OUR, yes your normal everyday person's, obsession with our looks.

I think it's hard to not think about it, when it seems everyone has an opinion on it...
I remember growing up, being a middle schooler and realizing that everyone had a comment on what I wore, what I looked like, and to be honest usually it wasn't my peer, it was the adults in my life...or not in my life, those who simply knew my parents, or showed up at one of our church events at some point.
It always made me wonder...why do they even care?
Can they just let ME be ME?
But despite my fight to do just that, be "me", I fell into obsessing over myself, and realizing, after much effort, I may never reach their expectations, wait..."what exactly is their expectation for me?", I wondered.

Anytime I would come to a semi-content place, someone else would have an opinion,
and of course to keep it to themselves would be just outright crazy it seemed.

I have really come to a place though, where I could care less about one's opinion of me, I am certainly content with who I am..
why? I think because I know Abba created me perfect, and everything about me He absolutely loves. I think when you come in contact with His vast love for you, it drowns out the opinions of man, and all that is left is His opinion, and in that you become quite satisfied with yourself.
I find myself, when overwhelmed by man's thoughts on me, turning towards Him, and thanking Him for making me...and listing things, I quite like about myself..
whether is my freckles, or blue eyes.
Call it vain if you may,
I call it focusing on the goodness of God, and the person He created me to be and thought up before the beginning of time.

All this to say, I am on this journey of becoming healthier...
not because I want to strive to meet man's expectations again,
but because I want to take care of this ONE body I have been given.
I really do believe that coming to the "right" reason for being healthier changes everything.

Don't get me wrong, I am not some crazy obsessed soda person (in fact, I hate soda..always have!)
And, neither am I frantickly running through McDonald's for a doss of my daily fried food.
I eat, mostly veggies and lean meat...
and of course have an obsession with coffee,
possibly my downfall, alas, no time soon shall that change..it just is pure bliss ;)

BUUUT, I want to take it a step farther..
recently I took out sugar (except for natural), bread, and milk from my diet.
(I am not advising you do that, do what you think is best for your body and what you're trying to achieve in the realm of health).
I also am working towards exercising a lot..
I have certainly been one in life to pencil in working out into my agenda,
but often I let life take over and end up killing my routine.

I thought if I wrote about it and kept myself accountable in some weird way through my blog, I may just do better this take at it.
So, here is to me taking one day at a time and taking care of this wonderful body I have been given to live in....
I hope you enjoy the journey with me, and if anything take into account the amazing person God created you to be, and all that is so beautiful about YOU, and that which makes up your person!

Peace. Love. Joy.

Greatness.

It's crazy to me how much we, as humanity walk around judging people's greatness by what we see on the outside....
who one knows...
what one is good at.. etc.

There's something inside of me that believes greatness lies on the inside,
and nothing one does can give or take that away.

What if the greatness within someone that has the ability to change the world as we know it is going unnoticed simply because we dwell on the little glimpses we get of one's "outside" life?

Why not live life in such a way you see the greatness within every person you come in contact with?

They may just have what you need..
they may just have a little part of what can change the world itself.

Something to ponder....

Peace. Love. Joy.

OUR plans.

Recently God has really been dealing with me personally, as well as showing me how much in humanity we create "our plan".

It's like we see where we are going, whatever area of society we want to influence, the church included, and we create this grand plan and strategy to make a "difference".

The other week I heard God start laughing,
He said, "brianna your plans, your strategies they really mean nothing."
Huh? I wondered, but then I heard Him say,
"it's really my presence, ME, that makes or breaks this thing."

I had this realization, that my strategy, my "plan", it really meant nothing,
unless it was simply a detail of the overwhelming goal of just being with Him.
Then from that place of being with Him, living life from Him.

I want to dig a well soooo deep with Him, that no matter where I go in life my History with Him is so vast that in an instance I can turn and He is there; His presence is there.
That's what I want.

At the end of the day no matter where I go, it's all going to come down to one thing..
my history with Abba.
That is what makes or breaks my life.
That is what dictates the influence I am going to have.
That is what determines my victory.
Him.

Peace. Love. Joy.

The simplicity of life.....

Simplicity.
I hear it echoing through the crevices of my heart....
what does simplicity look like?
how about a simple life?

More than ever my life has been narrowed down to one thing...
Him, and His presence.
I realize it all comes down to that in my life.
I fear less...
I worry less...
when it is as simple as me and Him.

I have this peace that He is going to open so many doors in my life,
doors I wouldn't have even thought to open..much less try.

His goodness has come to overwhelm who I am.
Everyday I find myself enraptured by who He is.
I don't want to spend time with Him because I need something from Him (although He does provide for my needs),
I spend time with Him because He is oh so lovely.
He is brilliant.
He is gracious.
He is GOOOOOOOOD.
I just love Him.

And, that is the simplicity of my life..
no matter where I go in my lifetime,
or what I do...
it all comes down to me and Him,
and at the end of my life...
I want to have the greatest history with Him that I can possibly have...
that is my pursuit in life.

"If you miss the small thing, you'll miss the big thing. Life in the Spirit is about the simple things."

"Greatness is really doing the simple things well-to the point of excellence."

Both of those are quotes from Graham Cooke....and both are immensely brilliant.

Peace. Love. Joy.

The beauty of not proving oneself.

I've been thinking....
yes, I tend to think quite a bit....
I have been thinking how much humanity uses talents, things, materials etc to validate who they are.
We do it more than we think....I think. :p

We try to validate ourselves with who we know,
what we are good at,
what we have...
the list goes on.

And, I am not saying I am exempt,
in fact, I think the very reason I have been thinking about it,
is because God has really been teaching me about the brilliance of not have to prove anything.

I have found, its so much more amazing to just be me.
Me without my gifts put on display.
Me without my connections known to all....
and so on and so forth.

I am pretty amazing just because I am me.
Not because of who I know, what I am good at, or what I own.

It's beautiful to not have to prove anything.
And, so that's what I am going for in life....
just simply being....
me,
Brianna Shea Geeslin.
Nothing more, and nothing less.

Peace. Love. Joy.