Swarming.

Swarming feelings.
Emotions.
Inadequate?
Irreplaceable?
Forgotten?

Who will stick around for the long haul?
Who are those willing to invest, not just in the good times...
Who will stick by when it's muddy, and unpleasant?
Who will be the ones whom you can truly call friend at the end of the journey?

It hurts.
But, eh, it's life.
At least I am learning that comparison kills.
Ohh, yes it does.

Embracing the season.
Trusting.
Knowing your decisions were the right ones,
even if others don't agree or maybe understand...
or even stick around.

The truth is,
He is faithful.
The biggest lesson learned will be that of trust when I look back on these times; these seasons.

For now, I put my trust in Him.
The one who has never failed me.

Peace. Love. Joy.

Courage.

It's times like these you find out who is really important in your life--
who your real friends are.

To hold onto hope, when all seems lost,
that's courage to me.
I hope I can be courageous.

When you feel alone,
as if you're on some deserted island,
with no one...but yourself,
and Him.

When you don't want revenge,
but rather justice.
Justice in the form of restoration,
in the form of Love.

It's no longer about being victim,
it's all about fighting.
It's all about being courageous.

And, honestly it's all about running towards audacious hope with all that's within you.
And, staring what seems like the inevitable in the eye, and telling it, it's got no place here.

Peace. Love. Joy.

Haze.

Why is is that the moment you need to lay down your life, be the most courageous; the most selfless--
all, you want to do is run, and be selfish?

Where is the line drawn between fighting for those who don't deserve it,
and fighting for your dreams?

Questions. Haze. Is this reality, or can we please wake up now and say it's a dream?

Peace. Love. Joy.

Audacious Hope.

Audacious Hope.
That has always been a statement that has rung true to my heart.
In fact, I plan to start whole institutions and non-profits and for-profits alike around those two words.

It's funny how when everyone thinks you should be distressed and emotional,
God comes swooping in with His grace, and you, in fact feel more joy than ever before.
It truly is a beautiful thing to just let go, and really just let Him be Himself.

I can honestly say I am not one bit worried about the future,
in fact, I really think I am the most optimistic and hopeful about it than ever before.

I am so excited for the days ahead.
For the places I'll go and the people I'll meet.
And, more importantly I am excited to not have control and for God to just show up in ways no man could.

Life is just good. No exceptions.

Peace. Love. Joy.

That feeling....

The feeling of home.
The feeling of being right where you've always belonged.
As if, from the beginning of time, it was destiny.

My heart is in search of that place;
in search of home.

Hopefully, sooner, rather than later, it's found.

Peace. Love. Joy.

Leaves. Death.

"Leaves become most beautiful when they're about to die."
It's a line of a Regina Spektor song, and its been floating around in my head for weeks now.

Maybe, out of the struggle, the times of dying we are refined, and we come out more beautiful than ever.

Maybe, that is what life is about. Series after series of refinement and becoming more and more beautiful.

Just a thought.
Peace. Love. Joy.

Life is brilliant. I mean, despite all that is going on around me, it really is fantastic.

Maybe it's the gorgeous weather, or maybe the fact that I have the whole day to do exactly what I want to do (for once!); but, truly life is brilliant.

I am so happy to be alive. So happy to have dreams. So happy to know brilliant people. Happy to be exactly who I am. And, to have the most amazing Abba in the whole world...who knows me, loves me, and lives through me.

Learning to extract joy, in all things, no matter what is going on in life.
That is truly the lesson of life I am learning currently.

And, honestly...I am just happy.
So happy.

Peace. Love. Joy.