To being a child.....

The past couple weeks I find myself being drawn back to my childhood,
to the simplicity of it all.
No worries, no concerns.
Just this pure, joyful freedom.
Just thinking about it makes me smile
& miss it.
A LOT.

I find myself wanting to go back,
trying to find that child in me.
The little girl;
the one who was free, full of life, joy, and love.

It's hard though.
You know, we all grow up.
We all begin to live this life, that turns into this story.
A story of pain, hardship, disappointment..
as well as crazy, awesome things that mark our lives & we will never forget:
stuff like friends, camps, vacations, graduations, achievements, our first job, out first crush etc.
We all have those things...
all of them,
the good & the bad.
And, it eventually becomes OUR story.
A story no one else can know or tell.

Sometimes, though the story gets complicated.
Life gets harder.
Slowly the circumstances surrounding us strip us of that freedom, joy, life we once knew when we were undefiled from the world.

Recently, I have come to grips with the things I have allowed my circumstances throughout my life to strip away.
It makes me ponder, something I do very often if you haven't noticed ;)
I have come to the conclusion that yes, life is hard, yes disappointment comes, hardship comes.

Some years have been better than others.
And, that will be so the rest of my life.
I can't change my circumstances
but, I still can live life alive through it all.

I can choose to find that little girl who once only knew joy.
I will find that girl.
How? Because, I serve this absolutely, phenomenal, incredible, Abba.
He has never disappointed me.
He has always been there saying, "Brianna, you are that little girl in me. You are full of life. Full of joy. It's right here."
That's the truth.
He is ALWAYS there & has never failed me.
Ever.
Sheesh. That is incredible.

No matter what has happened in my life, no matter what will happen in my life.
I can make a decision to live it like a child.
Full of life.
Full of joy.
Because HE is my Abba.
That,
that one thing... will never disappoint.

When I begin to not just believe that,
but live my life from that....
I can look up, past my self, past my hurts, past my circumstances,
and realize there are stories all around me,
just waiting to be heard.
And, I want to hear them.
I want to know the stories of the lives all around me.

It's much bigger than me.
I want to know that child that lies in each and every person.
The child who had huge, crazy dreams that no man could crush.
I want that dream to become their story.



Peace. Love. Joy.