Us-People.

I was looking at this quote from C.S. Lewis the other day, and it really got me thinking. He says this, "I hope you will not misunderstand what I am going to say. I am not preaching, and Heaven knows I do not pretend to be better than anyone else. I am only trying to call attention to a fact; the fact that this year or this month, or more likely, this very day we have failed to practice ourselves the kind of behaviour we expect from other people."

This really made me think, about how we can walk around and always notice the issues in other people's lives, the things we just can't stand about them. The things we wish they could just fix and be better at. But, when do we ever ask ourselves if we need a little change, or a heart fix here and there.

We walk around and really end up judging people, and saying they need to be more like this or that, or we find something that just erks us about them.

I think it's part of human nature, and am in no way casting judgment on anyone... as I am merely human and I have judged people plenty.

I am just trying to show you, to show myself... that maybe next time we see an issue in some one's life, or something they need fixed...why don't we ask ourselves the same exact question? Why don't we presently come to fix that very thing in us. Why don't we look at where we have failed and where we haven't been abandoned to the things of God as much as we should.

We need to learn, more importantly, I need to learn, to keep my eyes on my beautiful Jesus, and constantly be examining my heart before I go and try to be the examiner of someone else's.

Let's just be laid down lovers-plain and simple!

Peace. Love. Joy!

Death.

Death.
It's a hard thing.
It's a bitter thing.
I don't think anyone quite fully understands it.
It usually leaves us asking, "why?"

Last night a tragedy hit.
An amazing man's life was taken away from this world.
A man who caused laughter and smiles to spread throughout a room.
He was a Husband, a Father, and a friend-to all who knew him.
When times got hard he never stopped spreading joy.
He was always bright and cheery.
I think he could probably make the grumpiest person alive smile.

I look back on the recent memories I have of his life, and just thinking about them makes me picture Jesus with a huge smile on His face.

I remember when I asked for volunteers to help with a conference. After church was let out people came flooding out, passing the sign up table. I was so discouraged, but then came Mr. Booth with a huge smile on his face and he uttered these words, "What can I do to help?" In those couple minutes he quickly became, "Mr. Booth, the leader of the Merchandise Table."

I remember walking through the Barrios of Nicaragua evangelizing. While the rest of the team huddled around one person at a time-Mr. Booth turned around, looked at the woman walking down the street, the little child riding his bicycle, and the countless taxi drivers that drove by us. He proceeded to speak the very little Spanish he know, and hand them a track. I can just see Jesus now saying, "My son do you know the lives that were changed that day? The souls that were saved because you decided to reach out and love them?"

I even remember the time he stared at me with eyes wide, jaw dropped when I told him I wanted to marry a gaged eared, tattooed, Irish man. He couldn't believe I would find such a guy attractive. I still remember in his English accent, he looked at me and said, "Oh my Brianna" and proceeded to laugh.

So, today I sit in a world without Mr. Niall Booth. Even in the confusion of asking "why?", I just think of these memories and how Jesus must be shouting, "Well done my good and faithful servant", as Mr. Booth runs out dancing upon the streets of gold, praising His beautiful Jesus (and probably telling a few jokes to the guy next to him as well). Knowing that his Abba is taking care of all us down here, and one day he will be dancing on those golden streets with his beautiful wife, and his precious children.

Fixing.

You know... I thought about something today.
I think we can spend our whole lives trying to be different,
that we don't really accomplish much.

We say to ourselves, well I cannot do that or this till I fix this part of me or that part etc.

Meanwhile, we keep dreaming, and once again put our dreams on hold... because we must fix something about us before we run after it.

I think, we should just run after our dreams and just be US, and do what is in our hearts.
and maybe while we are doing that... we will come to presently change into the person we have longed to be.

Just a thought.

Peace. Love. Joy.

Good Stuff.

“May God bless you with a restless discomfort about easy answers, half-truths and superficial relationships, so that you may seek truth boldly and love deep within your heart. May God bless you with holy anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may tirelessly work for justice, freedom, and peace among all people. May God bless you with the gift of tears to shed with those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, or the loss of all that they cherish, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and transform their pain into joy. May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you really can make a difference in this world, so that you are able, with God’s grace, to do what others claim.” -The Franciscan Blessing

Now that is just your everday...
good stuff.
Brilliant.

Love.

Love.
It is such a simple word-
yet so complex.

I have heard many people ponder their perspective on love.
I have heard many people preach love.
I have heard many people even proclaim that love was their life's message so to speak.
All this said quick and fast-with great intentions, but very little understanding of what they were speaking of.
I think most of us are at fault for this....

One day, I was asking God about all this talk about this "love" thing...
and I looked at the lives of people who had been preaching love, including myself might I add. He responded like this, "You got so caught up in preaching love, your forgot to live love." A very profound statement indeed-who would have thought?!
ha! =)

Anywayz, this made me think about people who changed my life through loving like Jesus, and some are even changing the world. Then I thought, and determined that they had never once preached love... they just were love. It brought me to a conclusion, that those who are really lovers, don't preach it, push it in others' faces, or even claim it is their life message. They just are IT-and that life example to me is better than a sermon on love. It is enough to change a life-to change the world!

There is this quote from C.S. Lewis I find myself pondering at times,
"Do not waste time bothering wether you "love" your neighbour;act as if you did. When you are behaving as if you loved someone you will presently come to love him."

I want to be that person. The one who just loves...just does it. No talking needed. I want to be the person who can literally walk into a room and not even have to say anything and the love of my Abba just permeates off of me into the hearts of those around. I want people to walk past me, and feel a love of a Father they have never experienced in their lives-and for that moment to literally transform their very being.

No talking. No Preaching.
Just, plain, simple... LOVE.
I want that to mark my life.

Peace. Love. Joy.

Life.

LIFE.

It's crazy how when my life is the most craziest, and unsure... I find the most joy in the future. Ironic, eh?

I am excited for my future.
I want to do lots of things...
I have got some pretty massive dreams.

When I start to think about how BIG and quite impossible they look right now,
I just can't get my heart to think that way.
I know I serve an amazing Abba.
He has never given me any reason to doubt Him anyhow.
I know that all the things He has placed in my heart are going to happen.

So, in the end, my heart flutters with Joy, thinking about the future.

Bottom Line is...
My Jesus is the the most beautifulest ever.
And, you couldn't even begin to deny that fact!
=)

Peace.Love.Joy.

Broken.

Well, I have not been on here in a long time.... a super long time. I have basically just been writing on my own, but I decided to edit this blog & continue writing.

God has been doing so much in me. Through me.
Process, it's a hard thing. That is for sure.

Have you ever caught yourself asking God to do something in your life, then when He begins to do it you freak out? Yup, that is me right now.

Through the last probably six months, I have been continually crying out to God to just break me. To say the least it has been a very difficult six months....He sure kept His end of the bargain! ha. As the months go on I continue to cry for the breaking, and surely it gets more and more difficult as I cry out more and more. The last few weeks have probably been some of the hardest in my life...and today I caught myself crying out to the Lord saying, "What is going on? I don't understand." Just as quickly as I can say that He sweetly reminds me I am the one who cried out for brokenness.

Which leads me to ponder what exactly is this "brokenness" I cry out for. To be "broken" according to the dictionary is to be violently separated into parts, damaged or altered by breaking, made weak or infirm. And, this is truly what I want. I want God to come, I want Him to destroy my ideologies, and to offend me, DEEPLY. I want Him to come into my heart and violently separate the things that keep me back from the fullness of His presence, of Him. I want Him to make me weak, literally depending on Him for my every breathe. Knowing I cannot move without Him. I want Him to break me.

I have come to the conclusion, that brokenness is hard, deep, real stuff. But in the midst of my hardest times in my life, is when I have come to know the very heartbeat of my Abba. I wouldn't trade one, itsy, bitsy moment of my breaking for anything. Because in those times, my heart became deeply connected to an infinite being, beyond what I could ever imagine. My heart was knitted with His in those times. I learned just who He was, and in turn who He called me. Basically, it comes down to...without the brokenness would I even know Him for what He says He is? Could He even use me?

So, in the end... I cry out... Abba continue to break me.
Anyway you have to..
break me.

Because, truly there is beauty in the fallout.
And that to me is precisely what brokenness is.


Peace. Love. Joy.