The buzz.

Politics, oh politics.
I find people are either completely scared of it, and thus pay no attention, and even at times despise it.
While others, love it, live for it, and embrace it every moment of their life.

I like politics...call me crazy, but I do.
There is something so fascinating and intriguing to me about it.
It's this epicenter that our great country is run by, but at the same time, it can't save us (the people).
It's a wonderful tension.

Whenever I have free time? I watch the news.
When I am running at night? I watch the news.
It's just my go to.
I love to know what is going on in the world,
and in Washington.

Lately, with the election buzz in full force, there has been much to catch up on, and watch.
I love the candidate debates. It's so interesting to hear questions fired, and peoples' responses. You can quickly figure out what one believes, as well as values. At the same time though, you can't REALLY figure them out.
It's this weird mystery. (I do find it funny though when the candidates become quite cliche in their "political" terms--my opinion? Just be real. I like the ones that are real).

Maybe I like it so much, because I get a chance to psycho analyze the canidates. Who knows.

Alas, it always gets me thinking,what were the founding fathers like to be around?
I imagine they were men of valor, of character, of values.
I would love to go back in time and sit with them.....have a little chat.
I think it would be absolutely life changing.

I often ponder if there are any men like this still alive?
Are there men of valor? of character?
Are there men leading our country who still have great values they live by?

I am optimistic, so I say yes. I just don't know them, I hope to meet some of them soon though.

Peace. Love. Joy.

Seth Godin says....

Seth Godin says to write everyday, so that I am embracing. I write every day in my journal, but I thought I'd take it one step further and try and write in this blog daily; with the surface, crazy, random things that are floating in my head.

I find joy is the greatest weapon ever. To embrace joy, I mean embrace it in the crappiest of times is the smartest thing one can do. I find the littlest things get me laughing these days. It's good--laughter truly is good like a medicine.

So, laugh, laugh, laugh. I guarantee it will make the hardest of seasons bearable.

Peace. Love. Joy.

20 years.

20 years of life. Wow—it’s weird to say that. Even weirder to realize I’ve been alive 2 decades. So much has happened in those years of life, many joys, and many sorrows. Friends have come and gone. Hobbies have come and gone. Life “ambitions” have come and gone.

I can honestly say that this past year, my 19^th year was one of the most explosive & defining years of my life…I continually look back to a year ago & am amazed at how I’ve changed and grown.

I think I’ve realized more than anything how absolutely brilliant my Abba is, and how much I am dependent on His Grace. He is seriously so good.

I have more dreams than ever before. I am so excited for the years to come, and all the people and places I will have the privilege of encountering.

I have learned about process. Mainly, the tension between living life completely alive, but still being in a process. Of knowing where you’re going, but being in the midst of something entirely different, that ultimately is what gets you to your destination.

It’s the difficult times that teach us all we need—that build the character we need to sustain the course of our dreams.

As I enter adulthood, I am reminded of what I want to be remembered for long after I leave this world. I want to leave an inheritance rich of dreams fulfilled, life lived, new and beautiful ambitions realized, and taking every moment captive. I want to be known as a woman who fully lived. Who faced fear and adversity in the eye, and succeeded in all her heart set out to do.

Peace. Love. Joy.

Let's just have fun.

I'm discovering what it really means to live like a child. Completely abandoned to living life alive.
It's interesting how free we are as kids, and once we grow up the pressures of life...what we should become, what is expected of us, paying for bills etc., it can totally overshadow life in general.

Lately, I've been waking up and saying, "this can not be my life." As much as I say it jokingly, I really have been pondering this very thing with Jesus. I am finding I hate repition (which is probably why I am a fashion major) I need adventure, excitement, new challenges. It's hard for me to wake up and go through the same 'ol routine every day--it drains me, and sucks the life right from me.

Alas, I find myself in a season where there is much repition involved. So the only thing I've been faced with doing, is figuring out how to make it exciting ;) I am around kids a lot, so I get to observe them. They are very matter of fact. Their imaginations run wild. They don't think about what tomorrow holds, they are all in the moment. It doesn't matter what is going on, they tend to choose fun above all.

Then, I started thinking about Marilyn Monroe, and how she was noted as being "fun". This very thing is why she is still so prominent in our culture years after her being gone.

I can choose to be stressed, overwhelmed, working tirelessly to try and figure out the "pefect" plan for my life. Or, I can have some fun, jump at every adventure, and discover all there is to find in this beautiful world....and, trust that the rest is all going to be sorted out by Abba.

So, here is to a new journey of implementing fun in every aspect of my life...to endless adventures, and trying some new and crazy things!

Gracias, Marilyn.

Peace. Love. Joy.

Real Rest.

I think one of my strengths is that of being able to be busy and have grace for it. I have an ability to be a workaholic, and not allow it to overwhelm me...or at least I thought. This probably stems from the fact I grew up in a home with parents who work their butts off, and take on way more than the average person would dream about doing. So, in a way I grew up knowing what it was like to have so much going on in your schedule.

Last year, I spent 9 months in a very life changing place. I learned a lot about my heart, about life, and a lot about rest. Life slowed down for me, and I had plenty of time to spend with friends, but also plenty of down time. I soon fell in love with my down times, of not having to do anything but read, write, and even catch up on the latest blockbusters. I would look forward to it, and I learned that this place of rest was what charged me for living life alive.

I came home, started a new season of life, and jumped right into a 45 hour work week (sometimes 60 depending on the week), on top of college. It was an extreme shock at first, not having the ability to unwind at all. The first couple weeks, I was a mess adjusting back to this pace of life. But, soon it got quite normal again, and I even questioned taking on more (I know! I am crazy!)

I began to get swept up in the "workaholic american dream". The ability to have no life, live off of dozens of cups a coffee a day, have no time for real, deep relationships, and make lots of money.

I came to a conclusion though, through many amazing friends, and a quite brilliant sister, that it really wasn't worth it. Yes, I have things I need to pay for (college--debt sucks, therefore I won't be participating in it!), but living life NOW is so much more important. Yes, I can work my life away--I am quite capable of it, I assure you. But, at the end of my life when I look back will it have been worth it? I think not. I would have no real friendships, no fun moments, and no pleasant thoughts of my restful times spent in solace.

I want to look back on my life one day and know I lived it to the ultimate fullest. I had so much fun, I worked hard, but I also rested much. That is what I want. So from now on, rest will be scheduled into my planner, for it is the "bliss" of life, and the thing that makes life, well, life.

At the end of the day, I want to live life alive. That is the bottom line.

Soooo, here is to embracing rest. AND, making sure I do.
Hooray for life.
Peace. Love. Joy.

Vulnerability.

Vulnerability.
The place of being transparent.
Holding nothing back.
Taking off the mask.
Letting people in.

Easy? Hardly.
Maybe the biggest battle of all.
The choice everyday to fake it,
or to be real.
Reveal yourself to the world around you.
Open up and let someone in...
they may hurt you,
but if you don't take the risk you'll just hurt yourself.

By locking yourself away, and guarding your heart,
it grows cold; lifeless.
Life stops pumping through.

Taking the chance.
Being vulnerable.
That's the battle we face everyday.

Choose life.
Choose vulnerability.

Peace. Love. Joy.

Ticking Clock.

Time flys by so fast...you're in one season and then all of a sudden you're in a next.
I think, at least for me, I take so much for granted in specific seasons, and then look back and miss it all so much. I don't know if that is just the way life is, or if I am incredibly bad at embracing the "moment" in the moment.

I think more than anything I am finding that things really aren't as they seem.
Your best friend you took for granted, ends up being the person you miss the most.
The person at your childhood camp who you thought was snobby, ends up being the biggest encourager of your destiny, right when you need it--out of the blue.
The employer who seemed complicated, actually ends up being your favorite. And, the one you thought was so nice and would be a breeze to work for, ends up being right out crazy.

Why is it that life is like this? How do we perceive things so wrong sometimes?
It's made me realize more than ever that we can make split second decisions that change the course of everything, and in the end our decision, based on a  perception ends up being wrong, and we are left with regrets.

I don't want to be rash. I want to love always, keep all doors wide open. Embrace every moment, and soak all the joy and love from every single moment. So, that when the next season rolls around, I don't regret, but I can embrace the winds of change, knowing my heart is full of love, and I truly have experienced joy and relationship to last me through the hard times.

To those of grace, who despite my rashness, still love.

Peace. Love. Joy.